· ✦ · Dear Sister · ✦ ·

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Dear Sister, Boundaries Are an Act of Self-Respect

Many women struggle to put boundaries at work, in relationships, in marriage, in family, and even with friends. We are taught to endure, to be patient, to be understanding, to give people “one more chance.” But there comes a point where endurance turns into self-betrayal.

Let me be clear:

Boundaries are not selfish. Boundaries are self-respect.

If something constantly disrespects you, drains you, confuses you, or pulls you away from who you are and what you value, then it needs a boundary. And boundaries don’t always look like long conversations. Sometimes boundaries look like silence. Distance. Leaving. Cutting access.

You do not need permission to protect yourself.

You do not need to explain yourself to people who already know what they’re doing.

The Bible reminds us:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

Guarding your heart is not cruelty. It is wisdom.

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I learned early in life to put boundaries because I entered toxic relationships when I was young. Those experiences taught me that disrespect never starts loud, it starts small, familiar, and slow. And if you don’t stop it early, it grows.

That’s why today, when something crosses my values, I don’t negotiate with it.

This year, I left a job in the fashion industry that many would call a dream job. But it was a toxic environment full of competition, gossip, jealousy, and unhealthy dynamics. I chose myself. I chose peace. And I walked away.

I have also cut off people I once called friends. People who disrespected me. People who tried to influence me to live in ways that don’t align with my values. I didn’t owe explanations. They knew what they were doing.

If someone talks about others behind their back and then smiles in their face, believe me. They will do the same to you.

The Bible is very clear about this:

“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” 1 Corinthians 15:33

And also:

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers.” Psalm 1:1

We are not called to judge, but we are allowed to choose to leave.

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I once had a best friend I had to cut ties with. Not because of hate, but because we no longer shared the same values. I tried to speak with her. I tried to help. She didn’t want to change. And the Bible teaches us that when someone refuses correction and growth, we must step away.

Jesus Himself warned us to walk away from certain tables.

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered.” Proverbs 22:24

Leaving is not abandonment. Sometimes it’s obedience.

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To the woman who is still in a toxic or abusive relationship:

I see you.

I was young once. I entered a relationship that felt familiar, safe at first. Slowly, it became controlling and harmful. When I finally woke up, it took me years to leave. It was hard. It was painful. But I did leave.

And I healed.

Not by my own strength, but because God helped me. I could not have done it without Him.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

If I had the information I have today, I would have left sooner. That’s why I write to women all around the world:

Do not tolerate disrespect.

Do not stay in toxic environments.

Do not engage with gossip.

Do not stay close to people who secretly dislike you.

Life is too precious for that.

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The same applies to dating and relationships. Values matter. Faith matters. Alignment matters.

If a man does not share my values or my faith, it will not work for me. That may work for others, but it doesn’t work for me. I have a calling, a purpose, and a relationship with God that I protect. I want a man who understands that and can lead with integrity.

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3

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Sister, choosing yourself does not make you cold.

Loving yourself does not make you difficult.

Respecting yourself does not make you arrogant.

You were never meant to shrink, tolerate abuse, or dim your light to keep others comfortable.

Life is precious.

Protect your heart.

Choose peace.

Set boundaries.

You were meant to stand out, not fit in.

With love,

Josefina 🤍